Crosby Quick To Recover; Mortified Girls Forced To Sniff

Sidney could maybe possibly anticipate thinking about coming back soon.  He is by far the bravest player in the NHL, facing and overcoming such adversity.  His concussion has only kept Sid out of the league for 4 short months, which has to be some sort of league record. Anyways..... In this photo, Sid has done a really horrible thing.  He ripped a big flapping moist one right behind these two beautiful young girls.  The girls were so ashamed of themselves for being so vulnerable around Sid, who they knew to be a violent fart-sniffer, that they blurred their faces out of this frontline photo, fresh from the stink trenches of Pittsburgh. Sidney knows what he's done in this photo, he even seems to be celebrating it. Your fans are disappointed Sid. You're supposed to be a role model.

Crosby Still Injured; Farts in Bowling Shirt

Well, Sid's still out. What a trooper. He got a concussion from an almost hard hit and he's only out for 4 months.  In this picture, our hero is wearing a really great penguins bowling shirt. He's like a weasely fart-sniffing Guy Fieri. Sid is pictured here terribly embarrassed by the stink of his dirt-hole.  He tries to cover the stench with folded hands, but to no avail.  The youngster in the forground seems to be immersed in a flatulent daze.  He gets to huff the farts of his favorite NHL super star.

Crosby on Long Term Injury Reserve; Sniffs Farts in To Ease Pain

Disappointed with his concussion during the Winter Classic game, Sidney cups a fart and wafts it towards his face. He is ashamed of his injury and of his stink.  Lost in a smelly haze of sadness and regret, Sid basks in his defeat. You'd think one little concussion wouldn't keep such a great resilient player out for too long right?